I was just glancing through a few old blog posts to refresh my mind exactly how the feeling came back in my face after my first surgery and compare it to how I've been healing this time, and wow.... I am kind of depressed after reading the posts from around that time! Here is my post from 6 weeks post op after that surgery. I'm not lying when I say that I just reread some of those posts and I shed some tears. I mean, it's definitely sad for me to go back and rehash what I went through. I even had some of the emotions from that time come back and hit me-- the confusion, anxiety, and just genuine sadness. God, I was SO sad and confused! Notice I didn't say angry. I seriously wasn't angry then. Everybody is always surprised when I tell them that, but if you read the posts around that time, you'll get my reasoning. My take on the surgery at the time was "shit happens." Your doctor is not God. They make mistakes, and unfortunately somebody has to be the mistake every now and then. An honest mistake that causes an undesirable surgical outcome is a risk of any surgery, and I understood that risk and had the surgery. It's life when it comes to this stuff, and I wasn't angry... at least not while I thought I was a part of an honest mistake and my doctors weren't about to do some major moral injustices to me. But, we all know what happened with all of that and after that, yes, I had every single right to be not only sad, but also angry after what was done to me. Even now that it's all said and done, I think overall I took things like a champ and deserved to be a little more raving angry, but I didn't go there.
Reading those posts has just made me reflect for a second and be even more thankful for the experience I am having this go around. I am pretty damn thankful all the time (as you've read in more than a few blog posts lately!), but now after reading my words and thoughts from this time post op after the first surgery, it's made me even more thankful for the team I have and the care I've received this time around. This all has actually hit me at a time when I was already reflecting on some things and thinking about how this has all impacted me. I chose to take what happened to me and try to take it in a positive direction. Being involved helping other patients out and being vocal in the online jaw surgery community has given me quite a bit of joy. It's actually one of the reasons I keep this blog going-- in case my experience can somehow help another patient out. There's been a few cases I've helped where I convinced the patient to advocate for themselves, seek second opinions, etc, and they end up finding out things weren't right and it puts them on a path to hopefully getting fixed like I have. Off and on over the past year or so, the thought of doing something professionally has popped in my head here and there. But what can I do to satisfy this new passion of using my experience to help other patients while satisfying my science/technical brain? There are positions out there like treatment coordinators and specialists in orthodontic offices. It would be a huge pay cut for me though. Same with ortho assisting. I think the more technical and hands on aspect would be satisfying (although, I am not a fan of being all up in peoples dirty slobbery mouths, so that might be a problem), but it too would be a pretty significant pay cut. I am not sure what the deal is with something like the assistants in my surgeons office. That might be better pay AND it's more technical. Two of the assistants got to scrub in and assist my major surgery-- how cool is that?! Sadly, it's too late in life to go full on DDS. And again, there is that whole issue of I don't like slobbery fluids. Even when I see people spit it makes me gag. So, my options are pretty damn limited, but it's neat to think about how I could jump both feet in to something COMPLETELY different than my current career/passion. I definitely would love to use this experience to help others. From a selfish standpoint, at least doing that helps me feel like going through all of this nightmare wasn't for nothing!
Anywho, 6 weeks post op is MUCH different this time around, and I am VERY thankful for it! :)
Reading those posts has just made me reflect for a second and be even more thankful for the experience I am having this go around. I am pretty damn thankful all the time (as you've read in more than a few blog posts lately!), but now after reading my words and thoughts from this time post op after the first surgery, it's made me even more thankful for the team I have and the care I've received this time around. This all has actually hit me at a time when I was already reflecting on some things and thinking about how this has all impacted me. I chose to take what happened to me and try to take it in a positive direction. Being involved helping other patients out and being vocal in the online jaw surgery community has given me quite a bit of joy. It's actually one of the reasons I keep this blog going-- in case my experience can somehow help another patient out. There's been a few cases I've helped where I convinced the patient to advocate for themselves, seek second opinions, etc, and they end up finding out things weren't right and it puts them on a path to hopefully getting fixed like I have. Off and on over the past year or so, the thought of doing something professionally has popped in my head here and there. But what can I do to satisfy this new passion of using my experience to help other patients while satisfying my science/technical brain? There are positions out there like treatment coordinators and specialists in orthodontic offices. It would be a huge pay cut for me though. Same with ortho assisting. I think the more technical and hands on aspect would be satisfying (although, I am not a fan of being all up in peoples dirty slobbery mouths, so that might be a problem), but it too would be a pretty significant pay cut. I am not sure what the deal is with something like the assistants in my surgeons office. That might be better pay AND it's more technical. Two of the assistants got to scrub in and assist my major surgery-- how cool is that?! Sadly, it's too late in life to go full on DDS. And again, there is that whole issue of I don't like slobbery fluids. Even when I see people spit it makes me gag. So, my options are pretty damn limited, but it's neat to think about how I could jump both feet in to something COMPLETELY different than my current career/passion. I definitely would love to use this experience to help others. From a selfish standpoint, at least doing that helps me feel like going through all of this nightmare wasn't for nothing!
Anywho, 6 weeks post op is MUCH different this time around, and I am VERY thankful for it! :)
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