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Well, That Was A Little Anticlimactic.....

8/26/2015

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The big news at yesterdays ortho appt?  Well, not so much.  I got the pano and was expecting an update, and he just swapped my wires out and went on about his business without saying much.  I finally brought up the FAA thing, and he didn't seem too concerned.  Sounds like I have options.  But, I told him I kind of needed a time line from him on where he thinks I'm at and how far off surgery is so I can pass that along to the FAA, and his response was, "Maybe by the holidays... maybe." 

So, that's freaking depressing.  I'll give Kaiser this much-- at least I had a date by now at this point in my treatment.  I am not even asking for a firm date, but yet a healthy estimate, IE: "sometime in December."  So, I am starting to get a little frustrated that I am not even hearing rumblings of an estimate out of my ortho.  Maybe it's because I can't trust a doc now and I have so much skepticism, but it makes me nervous that my surgical time line is not being discussed more.  I don't even know if my surgeon has talked to the ortho or anything in the last 7 months since I've seen him.  This is especially alarming to me and puts me on my toes since my first team never talked.  That was part of the problem and why my planning went ass over head.  I ended up emailing my surgeon yesterday just to touch base with him and ask him a few questions regarding my recovery so I can better plan a possible switch over to ATC.  A few things were surprising in that email response:  1.) My surgeon has not gotten any records or heard anything from my ortho.  So, my suspicion on that was right.  He's going to touch base with my ortho soon.  2.) I am not going to be banded shut for 6 weeks like they initially said.  I don't know what changed and why I won't be, but now they're saying two weeks tightly shut like I was when I was wired shut after my first surgery, and then a few weeks in looser bands, and then a few more weeks just wearing bands at night as the ortho sees fit.  So, that part was actually really great news.  I am pretty relieved over that.  But, the rest of it makes me nervous.  And like I said, maybe I'm  being overly paranoid after what has happened to me the first time, but I am not liking this at all.  I am trying to find a good balance of not being that nosy annoying patient who thinks they know more than the doctors, and I want to trust them, but at the same time I need to be proactive and make sure everything is being done right this time.  I know it's pretty typical for the ortho to do all the leg work and then kick you over to the surgeon when you're ready, but I really thought they at least would have touched base at some point over the last few months when I got new xrays and everything.  That they would be sending records to each other and sparking a conversation if it needs to be had.  So, I want to give my team the benefit of the doubt that they're doing what they're supposed to be doing, but it all really does make me nervous.  I don't want to be screwed again.

Otherwise the house keeping during my appt was new.  I finally got a square steel wire in that allows them to put bends in it and torque teeth.  I remember my first ortho doing this, but I didn't know why.  And now that I think of it after finding out why yesterday, I don't know why he was doing it because the bends are for torquing roots and he had no clue what my roots looked liked since he never took a single xray of me while I was in his care that first year.  The roots on my two front teeth are so divergent.  Everybody always comments on them.  Now my bottom teeth are all wackadoo after having them yanked in for the last 6 months closing the extraction space.  So, hopefully those roots will be straightened out now. All the while I am probably going to lose more root structure in the process, but it has to be done.  I made the  mistake of leaving my glasses on while I was sitting in the chair.  I could read my chart they had pulled up.  I was already feeling really frustrated and bummed at the whole no surgery estimate thing, then I see that I am only on month 7 out of 25 for my treatment length, and then I see notes like, "Upper incisors, shoot roots, prognosis poor. Upper right 2 extremely short root, probable loss after treatment."  I mean, I know these things.  I've been told a few times.  But  just after being so frustrated and depressed all at once yesterday, everything just hit me harder than usual, and I walked out and got in my car and cried.  Just in a mood I guess, but I've already been through 22 months of braces the first time and all it did was make me worse.  Now I'm only on month 7 out of 25 this go around.  I have no clue when my surgery will be and can't start planning for it.  I am going to lose all of my front upper incisors.  They really manhandled my mouth in the appointment yesterday and I was immediately sore.  All the stress with the FAA stuff and trying to schedule around a major surgery that I have no clue when it will be.  Just everything got to me I guess, and I had a moment where I am just sick of being in this position.  I'm sick of being in braces still. I am sick of not being able to chew right, talk right, and constantly have a headache and now ear aches.  Maybe it's because I feel like there is no end in sight with not having the surgery date estimate.  I don't know.  I'm probably just too stressed all around.  Oh well, sometimes you have those moments and need a brief pity party for yourself.  Yesterday was my day for that.  Thank god today is my Friday at work.  I think I just need a few days to clear my head. 
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