I would say through this whole process I've been pretty good. I was a super informed patient, knew the risks, and walked into surgery with a good attitude and remained pretty positive through most of my recovery and all the ups and downs thus far. That all went to hell this week when I saw my ortho and he confirmed the cant to my jaw. The fact that he thought he could fix it was giving me hope, but I've had a really bad feeling about all of this from the start. My stomach has been in knots since Wednesdays appointment with him. I saw my surgeon this morning, and she confirms everything as well. No bueno.... like, seriously, this is no bueno.
I'm about 2mm or so lower on my right side vs. my left. Could it be worse? For sure. The cant is not too noticeable if you're looking at me with my mouth closed, although I could swear my right ear is sitting lower because my glasses have not sat right on my face since surgery, and I have a few dimples on my left that I don't have on my right which is weird. My surgeon wanted to consult my ortho today and talk about options and get back to me tomorrow. I have a funny feeling I'm a surgical case again, and if it happens it's going to happen sooner rather than later so they can utilize going in and opening the fresh breaks which aren't even healed yet and retweaking everything. That will be everything again-- the build up to surgery, the anxiety, the surgery itself, the crappy hospital stay, being wired shut. A million things are going through my mind-- I've come this far and there is no reset button on this now. I would say the bite I have now is worse than what I walked into surgery with, so why not try and fix it the way it's supposed to be done? I guess part of me is worried about what if it comes out even worse? Or what if I have more issues or worse side effects afterwards? If I could be promised it would be right afterwards, I would have no issues doing this again. It sucked, but it would be worth it to get it right. The chances are low that you have results so bad or enough relapse that you need a second surgery, so they must be even lower that it could possibly be screwed up again let alone be worse off, right?
Speaking of the relapse and/or bad results-- which is this for my case? I'm not sure yet. I think both. I knew something wasn't quite right a while back, but then again I was dealing with a whole new bite and I didn't know what I didn't know and thought it was just the new bite, swelling, etc, and I was over analyzing and it would just take some time to get used to. But I'm pretty sure this was done during surgery AND I think it's gotten worse since I was unwired. Maybe not and it's just the swelling has gone down enough for me to notice it more, but I think it might be both things. Regardless, the weird part is, I am not mad. Should I be mad? I mean, no surgeon who does 100's of these cases a year is not going to nail each one 100% every time. If they get it right most of the time and come highly regarded, I think that is a fair thing to assess and expect; you take your chances and hope that you fall into that 'most of the time' category and not one of the odd few who end up not right after. These surgeons are not Gods. I went into this knowing there was a possibility of this happening. So, no.... oddly enough I am not mad. Honestly, I don't know how to feel right now. Just kind of sad and super anxious, I guess.
I guess I'm putting the cart before the horse with this post because I don't have the final verdict on if they're bringing me back in for double jaw surgery part II until tomorrow, but like I said, I'm pretty sure that is the direction they're going to go. Honestly, I think I'd rather them go back in and make it right instead of trying to fix it orthodontically-- dragging teeth down and back on my left side to mask what the real problem is, and could end up actually giving me a host of other problems like exposed root surfaces and everything else. I'm in this already, so might as well see what they can do to make it right. If it doesn't work after this.... well, that might be time to call it quits and accept that what I've got is what I've got now. Especially if I end up with no added numbness, pain, or issues. If the bite isn't right after this, then that'll be all she wrote for me, I think.
Now to go home and occupy myself somehow tonight. I'm a nervous wreck for this call tomorrow.
I'm about 2mm or so lower on my right side vs. my left. Could it be worse? For sure. The cant is not too noticeable if you're looking at me with my mouth closed, although I could swear my right ear is sitting lower because my glasses have not sat right on my face since surgery, and I have a few dimples on my left that I don't have on my right which is weird. My surgeon wanted to consult my ortho today and talk about options and get back to me tomorrow. I have a funny feeling I'm a surgical case again, and if it happens it's going to happen sooner rather than later so they can utilize going in and opening the fresh breaks which aren't even healed yet and retweaking everything. That will be everything again-- the build up to surgery, the anxiety, the surgery itself, the crappy hospital stay, being wired shut. A million things are going through my mind-- I've come this far and there is no reset button on this now. I would say the bite I have now is worse than what I walked into surgery with, so why not try and fix it the way it's supposed to be done? I guess part of me is worried about what if it comes out even worse? Or what if I have more issues or worse side effects afterwards? If I could be promised it would be right afterwards, I would have no issues doing this again. It sucked, but it would be worth it to get it right. The chances are low that you have results so bad or enough relapse that you need a second surgery, so they must be even lower that it could possibly be screwed up again let alone be worse off, right?
Speaking of the relapse and/or bad results-- which is this for my case? I'm not sure yet. I think both. I knew something wasn't quite right a while back, but then again I was dealing with a whole new bite and I didn't know what I didn't know and thought it was just the new bite, swelling, etc, and I was over analyzing and it would just take some time to get used to. But I'm pretty sure this was done during surgery AND I think it's gotten worse since I was unwired. Maybe not and it's just the swelling has gone down enough for me to notice it more, but I think it might be both things. Regardless, the weird part is, I am not mad. Should I be mad? I mean, no surgeon who does 100's of these cases a year is not going to nail each one 100% every time. If they get it right most of the time and come highly regarded, I think that is a fair thing to assess and expect; you take your chances and hope that you fall into that 'most of the time' category and not one of the odd few who end up not right after. These surgeons are not Gods. I went into this knowing there was a possibility of this happening. So, no.... oddly enough I am not mad. Honestly, I don't know how to feel right now. Just kind of sad and super anxious, I guess.
I guess I'm putting the cart before the horse with this post because I don't have the final verdict on if they're bringing me back in for double jaw surgery part II until tomorrow, but like I said, I'm pretty sure that is the direction they're going to go. Honestly, I think I'd rather them go back in and make it right instead of trying to fix it orthodontically-- dragging teeth down and back on my left side to mask what the real problem is, and could end up actually giving me a host of other problems like exposed root surfaces and everything else. I'm in this already, so might as well see what they can do to make it right. If it doesn't work after this.... well, that might be time to call it quits and accept that what I've got is what I've got now. Especially if I end up with no added numbness, pain, or issues. If the bite isn't right after this, then that'll be all she wrote for me, I think.
Now to go home and occupy myself somehow tonight. I'm a nervous wreck for this call tomorrow.
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