Scan Results

I was excited to see all the 3d scans and how my surgeon would use them, but at the same time I've been dreading seeing them to see the hot mess that is my jaws/face, and also dreading to hear what further damage has been done in the two years since my surgery.  I haven't been sleeping well.  Pretty much not hitting REM sleep at all some nights.  Partially because of the physical discomfort I am in, but also the emotional/mental aspect.  Last week I woke up sleeping talking and mumbling about some kind of mouth guard I needed.  Last night it was nightmares about getting the scans back and finding out my right TMJ was so trashed that I would need to cancel jaw surgery and first to joint replacement on that side to stabilize before doing jaw surgery.  I was a wreck waking up this morning, especially after what is now 5 nights in a row I have slept little, and what little sleep I've gotten has not been peaceful.  I'm pretty glad at this point I am taking off from work early ahead of surgery.  I feel like I am barely hanging on most days now and don't feel like I could function to the fullest for much longer.  Plus running myself in to the ground further is going to risk me not going in to surgery as well and rested as possible.  That is key for me. 

Anywho, I am getting off topic.  Back to the scans.  Most of it, I have no clue what I am looking at, but the things I do understand are depressing.  The report is depressing.  I am definitely in worse shape than I was 2 years ago at my last 3d scan.  No wonder I feel worse and worse.  Good to know it's not in my head.  And the pictures....the pictures are really depressing.  I know my bite is incredibly exaggerated for surgery right now, so that makes it look worse, but it's still a tough pill to swallow for me looking at all of these.  So the report from the radiologist at UCLA Dental:

• My 4 front teeth are trashed.  I've been told this by multiple specialists and my prosthodontist is easing me in to the plan of needing all 4 upper front teeth replaced (7,8, 9, 10-- both main and lateral incisors).  It's noted multiple times that there is severe resorption and blunting with little root left for teeth support and poor root to crown ratio.  Funny note on the report is he mentions that this is probably all caused by orthodontic movement.  Thanks again, Dr. Wadden!
• My TMJ's are breaking down.  This is no bueno.  My biggest fear in all of this is causing TMJ damage when I originally started with none, or going through revision and then causing unstoppable Condyle Resorption.  Two years ago at my last 3d scan with Dr. Gunson, he noted my TMJ's were in great shape.  This was only 2 months post op, so not enough time had gone by yet to see the carnage that my now trashed bite and crooked face would cause.  So, I guess this is what 2 years of clenching down with a wonky bite will do to you. 
• Bone dehisence on one side of my lower jaw.  It was a part of the jaw I didn't quite recognize the name of, and I am still not uber familiar with dehisence except when it comes to open surgical wound stuff.  I have no clue what it means for the bone, but I am guessing the osteotomey on the one side never healed right.  And it's the side I am all bowed out and bulged out on.  Probably not a coincidence.
• My airway is narrow again.  So much so that the radiologist recommended sleep apnea study for me.  I had a class II airway post op, and pre op it was narrow, as it is for most patients with receded lower jaws and an overbite.  But, this is the worst I've ever heard a specialist talk about it.  Hopefully it will open up when my lower jaw comes forward more.  And maybe, this is another reason I have not been sleeping well. 

Here comes the tough part-- the pictures.  I had a hard time looking at all of this today.  After reading the report and looking at everything, I pretty much sobbed uncontrollably for about 10 minutes. Seeing the 3d head on images and just seeing how skewed and asymmetric I am now.  How swung out to my left I am.  It's all incredibly devastating when my original pre op face had zero asymmetry.  To look at it and be reminded that I got butchered by some monster surgeon with no explanation or anything.  I think that would be a tough experience for anybody. 

The pictures especially are really hard to post, but in the same full disclosure I've had for doing this since day 1, I am posting them in all of their glory.  I am really kicking myself for drinking coffee on the way to the appointment.  I had to get the pictures done with stained coffee teeth.  Salt in the wound at that point looking at these...ugh.

Click on a thumbnail for the larger image.