Second bit of closure is more on an emotional level. For the last 10 months I was looking forward to my legal case as being my closure. For my surgeon to have to step up and be held accountable for what she did to me with no explanation. And not even so much exactly what she did to me surgically (because I understand shit happens), but her care in the following weeks; sweeping me under the rug and hoping I would just go away or be ignorant and lackadaisical enough to continue to allow my orthodontist to try and cover up her surgical mistakes. It's becoming more clear that my case is probably dead in the water. My lawyers didn't even answer my last email last week. Our expert witness has done an about face and is now saying he can't bring himself to say that my care was below the standard even though he previously had said it was just a few months ago. My statute of limitations is quickly running out next month. Pretty certain at this point I don't have time to get with a new lawyer and get something spun up quick enough to get in before the statute comes. Luckily I've been distracted with my knee issues, but I have to do some soul searching and eventually find another way to get closure. I am not sure exactly how that will happen or when, but I am pretty sure it will eventually happen, even if it just comes down to letting enough time pass to get over it. I don't think I'll ever be completely over it, but over it enough to go on with life. I think at this point it will take me having a successful revision surgery. I will need at least that to get a little bit of confidence and trust back with doctors. Right now I have none, which is heavily impacting my decisions regarding my knees.
So, with a high level of probability that my case is done, I am officially republishing this blog. I've had it offline for the last 5 or 6 months through all of this. Not that I had anything to hide, but it's just what you do when you're in litigation. Furthermore, I can go ahead and honestly tell my story in detail. Start hitting message boards, online groups. forums, etc and let people know about my case, especially if they are considering Kaiser Oakland. I know I would have appreciated a story like mine during my research as a pre op patient. It definitely would have given me something to chew over in terms of my choice of surgeon, HMO, and hospital.