3 weeks post op....you know what that means?! Only 4 more days until the splint is out!!!! The splint was supposed to be off in 2-3 weeks and a little break in the rubber bands after 5 days with another change at maybe day 10 at the second post op appointment....but we're not completely going as planned there. It's OK. Still normal to have the splint and full bands in that first 4-8 weeks, but it wasn't quite what we originally planned. Better safe than sorry though if they think my bite needs the extra guidance longer.
I would say the biggest change the last week has been more mental than physical. I think I am kind of in a slump. I would even go so far as to say maybe I am a little depressed? I am so used to being active and in control, and I have been neither the last month. Like last time, I am pretty low energy, except this time I feel like some of that is mental (like when you're depressed and don't feel like doing anything) and not pure physical. I am sure some of it is physical too since I am not getting full calories in (below 1000 calories/day still at this point). I still have a brain fog going on like last time too, to the point where I am not 100% comfortable driving yet, but I'm driving when I have to. Only thing I can compare it to is when you have a head cold and take medicine and you just feel all floaty, brain fogged, and out of it. Last time I think this stuck around for about 6 weeks. Who knows if it just naturally works out of your system by then, or if it was in response to getting more food and better nutrition in at that point. I am definitely not as food deprived this time around. At least not for being wired in a splint still. When I was wired shut last time I was only getting broths in. Being able to take the bands off quickly to eat has been a game changer this time. I have been able to get thicker pureed foods in this time. I have been hitting the Indian hard core. Last night I made a thick sambar to get in. So good, but I am left craving animal protein still after. Ugh.
I think that is a sense of frustration and feeling a little down about too. I am REALLY sick of this diet at this point. I pureed chicken livers and spooned that in the other night. The thought of that makes you want to yammy, right? Yeah, well, that is what I have had to deal with. Not fun. Still hitting the boost up for breakfast in the morning, then getting some of the chicken livers and mashed pureed veggies through the day. I've been putting full fat milk in my coffee in the morning and using more butter and oil than I normally do in my veggies when I cook them down for puree. I must be doing a decent job sneaking the calories in there, because I have plateaued on the weight loss and have been sitting at 132 the last few days. I am so sick of the texture of these foods. I'm getting the taste and spice still, which is great, but damn would I like to chew. I am craving just a soft boiled egg so bad for breakfast right now, and I can't have it. I really hope this splint gets unwired on Monday, because I am reaching a breaking point with the diet right now and really need to move to soft chew. I am also sick of not having the emotional or physical energy to do anything. I am not motivated at all. I can just sit on my couch and watch tv all day. After 3 weeks of it, it's getting old, but there is nothing else I really want to do since I'm so tired.
Because I am emotionally kind of "blah," it's also impacting me physically. I feel like I've slowed a bit more in healing too. I have been comparing how I healed last time to this time, and it's getting me a little anxious. By 3 weeks post op I think I had most of the feeling back in my cheek/nose/lower eye. This time I am having issues. It's improved a bit, probably 50%, but I am still pretty numb in my right cheek, nostril, and lower eye lid down to my lip. I know it can take a few months, but since it came back so fast last time, it's making me nervous that I am not seeing the same improvements this time. My chin and lower lip is DEAD numb. Like, that fat lip kind of heavy numb feeling. No serious nerve pains yet, although my bottom front teeth are starting to have that weird feeling in them that I remember from last time. Hopefully that is a sign of the nerve zingers to come. Again, something that happened in that 2-3 weeks post op period last time. I feel like the lingering swelling is worse this time too. My nose is still pretty swollen. My right cheek up into my lower eye is still bigger too, and the plates along the right cheek are more tender too. My left side feels pretty damn good. I can even press on the plates/screws on that side and not have a ton of tenderness. Oh well... it's only 3 weeks, which is REALLY early in the grand scheme of things. I always tell people it's not a race and stop comparing your recovery to others since we all heal differently, but here I am comparing myself to..... well, myself! I need to stop comparing to what happened last time, because it's different circumstances. With revision you're going to heal slower. They cut through a ton of new bone over the old hardware, scar tissue, etc. My face as been through a lot, and it's going to take a long time to recover from that.
Hopefully getting the splint out and getting another clean check up will reinvigorate me. I've emailed my ortho to tell him I am feeling great and getting good range of motion back (just from the few minutes I get to stretch while I am cleaning with the bands out), so if he wants to plan on a wire change or anything on Monday, I think I could take it. Looking forward to getting that umph of energy back soon. I think I am just getting tired of the liquid diet, tired of being numb, tired of being tired, and tired of drooling all over myself (yes, the drooling has been bad this time for some reason. And since I can't feel my chin at all, I just sit and it's like a waterfall down my chin and I don't even know it until my shirt gets wet. Ick) I am scheduled to start getting back to work in a week and a half, so hopefully something kicks in to gear with me next week. I don't want to have to take anymore leave, but if I am still this tired next week, I may have to.
I would say the biggest change the last week has been more mental than physical. I think I am kind of in a slump. I would even go so far as to say maybe I am a little depressed? I am so used to being active and in control, and I have been neither the last month. Like last time, I am pretty low energy, except this time I feel like some of that is mental (like when you're depressed and don't feel like doing anything) and not pure physical. I am sure some of it is physical too since I am not getting full calories in (below 1000 calories/day still at this point). I still have a brain fog going on like last time too, to the point where I am not 100% comfortable driving yet, but I'm driving when I have to. Only thing I can compare it to is when you have a head cold and take medicine and you just feel all floaty, brain fogged, and out of it. Last time I think this stuck around for about 6 weeks. Who knows if it just naturally works out of your system by then, or if it was in response to getting more food and better nutrition in at that point. I am definitely not as food deprived this time around. At least not for being wired in a splint still. When I was wired shut last time I was only getting broths in. Being able to take the bands off quickly to eat has been a game changer this time. I have been able to get thicker pureed foods in this time. I have been hitting the Indian hard core. Last night I made a thick sambar to get in. So good, but I am left craving animal protein still after. Ugh.
I think that is a sense of frustration and feeling a little down about too. I am REALLY sick of this diet at this point. I pureed chicken livers and spooned that in the other night. The thought of that makes you want to yammy, right? Yeah, well, that is what I have had to deal with. Not fun. Still hitting the boost up for breakfast in the morning, then getting some of the chicken livers and mashed pureed veggies through the day. I've been putting full fat milk in my coffee in the morning and using more butter and oil than I normally do in my veggies when I cook them down for puree. I must be doing a decent job sneaking the calories in there, because I have plateaued on the weight loss and have been sitting at 132 the last few days. I am so sick of the texture of these foods. I'm getting the taste and spice still, which is great, but damn would I like to chew. I am craving just a soft boiled egg so bad for breakfast right now, and I can't have it. I really hope this splint gets unwired on Monday, because I am reaching a breaking point with the diet right now and really need to move to soft chew. I am also sick of not having the emotional or physical energy to do anything. I am not motivated at all. I can just sit on my couch and watch tv all day. After 3 weeks of it, it's getting old, but there is nothing else I really want to do since I'm so tired.
Because I am emotionally kind of "blah," it's also impacting me physically. I feel like I've slowed a bit more in healing too. I have been comparing how I healed last time to this time, and it's getting me a little anxious. By 3 weeks post op I think I had most of the feeling back in my cheek/nose/lower eye. This time I am having issues. It's improved a bit, probably 50%, but I am still pretty numb in my right cheek, nostril, and lower eye lid down to my lip. I know it can take a few months, but since it came back so fast last time, it's making me nervous that I am not seeing the same improvements this time. My chin and lower lip is DEAD numb. Like, that fat lip kind of heavy numb feeling. No serious nerve pains yet, although my bottom front teeth are starting to have that weird feeling in them that I remember from last time. Hopefully that is a sign of the nerve zingers to come. Again, something that happened in that 2-3 weeks post op period last time. I feel like the lingering swelling is worse this time too. My nose is still pretty swollen. My right cheek up into my lower eye is still bigger too, and the plates along the right cheek are more tender too. My left side feels pretty damn good. I can even press on the plates/screws on that side and not have a ton of tenderness. Oh well... it's only 3 weeks, which is REALLY early in the grand scheme of things. I always tell people it's not a race and stop comparing your recovery to others since we all heal differently, but here I am comparing myself to..... well, myself! I need to stop comparing to what happened last time, because it's different circumstances. With revision you're going to heal slower. They cut through a ton of new bone over the old hardware, scar tissue, etc. My face as been through a lot, and it's going to take a long time to recover from that.
Hopefully getting the splint out and getting another clean check up will reinvigorate me. I've emailed my ortho to tell him I am feeling great and getting good range of motion back (just from the few minutes I get to stretch while I am cleaning with the bands out), so if he wants to plan on a wire change or anything on Monday, I think I could take it. Looking forward to getting that umph of energy back soon. I think I am just getting tired of the liquid diet, tired of being numb, tired of being tired, and tired of drooling all over myself (yes, the drooling has been bad this time for some reason. And since I can't feel my chin at all, I just sit and it's like a waterfall down my chin and I don't even know it until my shirt gets wet. Ick) I am scheduled to start getting back to work in a week and a half, so hopefully something kicks in to gear with me next week. I don't want to have to take anymore leave, but if I am still this tired next week, I may have to.
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